Saturday 23 April 2011

How Fickle My Heart And How Woozy My Eyes

If I knew what I wanted it would be easier to get it, to get there.

But I never was one for decision making. And right now clarity is evading me with a skill mastered from many years of success.

Nothing seems to be black and white, just a whole variety of greys. A whole array of if's, but's and when's. And many many why's.

And I am so swayed by small things. One single unassuming comment. One perfectly timed song. One encouraging laugh. One almost missed eye contact and smile. It can change my mind. And all the sudden everything I know is questioned.

Perhaps clarity tries to find me, and save me. But I let the little things carry it away, as I wrestle with myself. And maybe it doesn't matter what I want. Who am I in the grand scheme? Maybe it's enough just to get through these days, and wait for the clarity to come later. Maybe.


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