Choose Love.

In light of this situation, in light of this life, I think it best that we stop and recall the words of Martin Luther King Jr.:

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,

begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes: Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

I see no good in wishing ill on someone, for that only traps us in our own cycle of hate and darkness. Remember that light and love are the only weapons we have to drive out the blackness that surrounds us; and indeed, that is what we should long for.

Choose love, dear friends, above hate or bitterness or anger. Choose it so that it can become part of your character. Choose it when you are wronged, and when it it the furthest from instinct. Choose it, because it is our only hope now: it is our doorway to forgiveness, and through that door we will find freedom and joy renewed.

I am sorry for everything that has happened; but remember that more pain will neither reverse nor erase the pain already felt. Remember that you have a choice, and then choose love.

S.

The Beauty In Ugly, And The Ugly In Beauty

If you wanna get free,

and if you wanna do the passionate thing,

and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart,

you should own your name and stand up tall, and get real

and see the beauty in ugly.

- Jason Mraz

From time to time I go blog jumping. I see who other people are following and I see if they're posting anything that might interest me. Many times I find some that do. But a couple days ago, my jumping around brought me to a place - many places really - that broke my heart.

Now, most of the blogs I've encountered, they're about music, photography, religion, love, etc. And I suppose I just assumed that that's what all people blogged about. But upon my stumbling, I found out that some people are writing in a much darker, and confused state.

I came across dozens of blogs written by anorexic girls - dozens, and I hardly skimmed the surface. There is a huge community of them. And my heart broke as I read their posts. Many of them starting off saying things like "I failed today/this week/this month", "I feel awful because I went over my 400 calorie limit today", "I'm trying a new fast, maybe I can last a week this time", "Stay starving girls!". Then they would post photos of terribly skinny girls calling it "Thinspiration". Their blogs would be called things like "Quest to Perfection", "Journey to Skinny", "Anything For Thin". Words cannot express how helpless I felt - and do feel - reading those words, seeing those photos, trying to understand the mindset that these girls are in. Trying to figure out what words, if any, I could possibly say to reach out to them and - ideally - change that mindset.

It's one thing to fail to see the beauty in "ugly" (although I wish more people took Jason Mraz's standpoint on that one). But it's a whole new scary world when you fail to see the ugly that comes with the consuming desire for "beauty". A desire that runs stronger than your own will to survive and be healthy.

My heart is so broken for these girls. I feel compelled to reach out, but I don't know what words I could say that could break through their clouded vision. A vision that only shows themselves in a tainted mirror. I pray for clarity for me, but mostly for each and every one of them, that they should see their beauty, and not look to conform to the world's standards of it, to believe it.

S.

Is It Okay To Feel Beautiful?

This week at work I told a coworker that she looked cute and she misheard me, she stopped and asked me to repeat myself. When I did, she said oh, for a moment I thought you were saying that about yourself. And at the time I laughed and shook my head and carried on. But it got me thinking. Why not? Why would that be the type of thing that, if said, you would stop and say, sorry I must have heard you wrong.

I do struggle with body image, although I'm working on it. But I wondered, if I was able to look at myself and be happy, in love with, and - yes - proud of what I saw, would that be acceptable?

It seems to me that in this society, we are supposed to feel badly about how we look. We are bombarded daily with ads and images that tell us again and again that we are not beautiful enough. Yet, friends and family tell us daily that we are. It seems, though, that should we start to believe them, to fall in love with our own quirks and shape and style, then we will have become egotisical and conceited. It's a thin line; loving yourself vs. being full of yourself; respecting your body vs. idolizing it; being humble vs. disliking yourself. And I think often, we don't know how to do one and not the other, or we do, but it can get mistaken for what it is not. And I wonder, how we will learn?

S

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4