Wednesday 16 December 2015

pretend .

you covered me with burnt kisses —
with siren songs
waving your heart outside yourself
like a beacon
but it was just illusion —
smoke and lights and mirrors
aimed at those with simple minds
and i came running.
you tore me down
not all at once but in strips
thin as paint
one room at a time
until my body was made only of
the most basic elements —
nothing of substance
nothing to hold up to the light.

you seduced me with lips that tasted of
and words that sounded suspiciously like
my own
recited backwards.

· · ·

i only wish i had learned to speak firmly without
sounding mean
i wish i had taught myself the art of
in tension
and strength
in the sea of vulnerability you swept me into.

i only wish
you were everything i imagined
and i was the person i wrote as myself.

i wish
but we don't exist outside of the walls of what-might-have-been.
[don't listen to a word i've said
i've been crying bathtubs full
of crocodile tears since you left me.
trying to find the last shred of you
i lost somewhere inside these veins].


  1. Wow.. these words could be exactly what I have inside for him... I wish he had been everything I had imagined ever since I was 15... but he was none of that, he pretended for so long and then when his true colors came out, it was too late for me not to fall apart... probably my own fault for seeing him in a way he wasn't but he didn't have to go along with it... beautiful words as always... I want to share them... xox

  2. this is a heart break i don't know, but i feel it with you when you write it down like this. you are amazingly talented and your words are so beautiful. i hope they will help you get through your sadness.