Fresh out of high school - so much life in him. Dreams. People that loved him. People that wanted to see him go as far in life as they knew he could. He could.
He won't.
I was - and am - struggling with this. Struggling with God. All of the why's flood into my mind. This was a talented boy, a nice boy. Someone with a good heart, a good family, and good goals. Gone.
It was a car accident that did it. No one else was involved - and I suppose that is something to be thankful for. He went off the road, hitting a tree, and wasn't found for hours. Hours. I wonder if he had been found sooner, if there would have been hope for him. I wonder many things. Who he would have known, where he would have lived, what he would have done with his life. And I don't know, and I won't.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry with God about this. Furious.
Why is it fine to save some lives, and then allow others to perish. Why does He get to be so chosey - and why do His choices suck in my eyes?
I am struggling.
I will not say rest in peace Victor. For I hope he does not. That is - I hope he is peaceful. But resting? No. I hope and trust that he is dancing with the angels, and standing in the presence of our God, with no need to rest anymore.
For even though it is a tragedy, it is a tragedy for us. Our loss. We're the ones wishing he could live out all of his dreams, and bring all the joy he could have brought into the world. Him? I am sure he would pick his current position over ours ten times out of ten, despite his earthly goals.
But I pray strength, peace, and acceptance for his family and friends. As well, for my own friends and family. That I would not take my moments with them for granted, because life is shorter than we think, and they deserve my love.
S.
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