Monday 15 June 2015

tracks .

this house shakes when the train passes through town
and i've been sitting on my floor trying to feel it all. everything. 
waiting for something to finally give way
and send this old brick building falling
onto the nighttime traffic. the lovers, the brokenhearted, 
the people who believe in late-night apologies or ice cream runs. 

it isn't working.
my sensory neurons have all given out (it's about time)
my legs are too weak to walk to where you are
my mouth has forgotten how to say things like "i'm sorry" and "please take me back".

and i've been trying to see how this makes me feel
but all i can feel is the goddamn train.


an imprint of your hands on my neck
your lips on my waist.

and yet

i can't connect these marks on my skin 
with the way the blood pumps through my veins
can't make out a clear path between the places our skin met
and the place in my brain that knows how to feel and express and understand  
that knows, 
when it comes down to it, 
what it all meant.
what you meant.

and i've been thinking
that if i don't get some feeling back under my skin
i'll hitch a ride on the next train through town
and see where i go.

{Photo via: We Heart It}


  1. S... As soon as I saw you wrote, I knew I would cry. I've been thinking of my D and it all feels so long ago... a memory from another time. Lately I've been thinking about making new memories with another (I'll never totally forget how amazing it was for us... but I think it's finally in the past :'(...)

  2. How long has it been since he broke your heart?
    I'm wondering because you've described how I've come to feel in 2 years...
    after falling in love and having it ripped away over and over.

  3. I sometimes dream about the way I used to feel and it's only then that I can still feel the same things. When I wake up it's all lost again.

  4. God, it takes so long to get those ghost hands off of your back. Sometimes it's easier to focus on the other shaking feelings life sends your way instead of those damn thumbprints pinned to your spine.

  5. Amazing ♥ so deep!

    xoxo ♥