Wednesday 29 January 2014

abyss .

You asked me for my deepest darkest secret. A secret I'd told no other living soul. 

What I think you may not understand about secrets is that those type are not down in the depths without reason. They aren't there to whip out at cocktail parties or ballet lessons or even at 3AM in the bed of your best friend who you tell most-everything to. They are absent for a reason. 

I think when you asked for this secret you meant to ask for my vulnerability, but what you asked for is more than that, and you need to understand this. 
Self-Portraits (2006-2011) 20/28
Because the kind you asked for is so ugly that you do not even tell it to yourself. It's something you know is there - you can feel the weight - but you cannot look it squarely in the face. That's why it's kept underneath. 

Someone somewhere once said ignorance is bliss and I believe them, because once you know the deepest darkest part of someone, you cannot forget. So I can tell you things I have told only five, two, even one other person, but don't you dare ask for more. 

You cannot handle dark and deep. This is what you need to understand.



  1. We cannot put words to our deepest secrets, and telling someone is like ripping out our insides. I like how you wrote these feelings, it's so true. There are things I have never told anyone, even if I stood naked before them, there are secrets that are not meant to be spoken.

  2. Ignorance most surely is bliss. The scary thing about secrets is sometimes you tell them to someone who proves through time that he isn't worth them. Then you lost that piece of your private self.

  3. I have only told one person all my secrets.. it truly is being vulnerable... they told me all theirs too... We would never tell another soul.

    Most people couldn't handle those secrets though... most would judge, I will never tell another person again... I will never trust anyone that much again.

    Your words always inspire me S

  4. We all have those.
    I believe we're always looking for places to hide them.

    Blogging is my run from reality.

  5. some secrets are meant to be kept.

  6. I believe both ignorance and knowledge haunt us in their own way.

  7. I don't know how you paint such haunting images with words but i love it and hope you never stop.

  8. i love this picture.

    i would never ask that question.

    these things are secret for a reason. and maybe they are the remains of something we do not want to be defined by...


  9. some secrets need to be told at the top of one's lungs, some whispered in the dark, and some kept to the grave.

  10. People sometimes feel like they have a right to know us as intimately as we know ourselves, but that's not really true. If we do that, we won't have anything left for ourselves.

  11. dark and deep is exactly that for a reason. couldn't agree more xx

    dreaming is believing