Monday 12 March 2012

This Is My Apology.

I am not the same one who walked away all those months ago.
I know you told me not to change, but who are you to demand that, and who am I to listen?
I've tossed away - and given - the best parts of who I was. Now only this remains. 

Sometimes I whisper my own secrets out into the air. I am nothing, I say, as the emptiness opens up and swallows my words. Yes - and you are alone. 
1am, and he kissed me on the nose and stared at me with those intense blue eyes, illuminated even in the dim lighting.
"What is it?" 
"Nothing. I just like the way you smile." 

It's the soft moments that scare me most. My heart wasn't built for caring, and besides, I can't shake the way your body felt. Yours felt better, and yet, his is real. 

2am arrived and I turned away from him - the darkness clashing with my bare white skin. I couldn't face the way he looked at me. "Stay the night, please". I don't like who I am anymore. 

5am blinked by and the ceiling tiles made faces in the dark. I thought they promised the world would be beautiful, but I don't see it; there is no strength left in these bones to fight for it anymore. 

I'm sorry for the disappointment I've become. I should have listened. 

{Photo via: We Heart It}


  1. The blue eyes. The blonde hair. Mine said something similar to me, once. Before he left.
    I know this pain. I know it, because it came to me recently. 3 weeks ago. Can it really have been 3 weeks ago? Where has my mind been?
    They tell me it won't hurt so bad, in time. And then they tell me I can't mourn forever. Who the hell are they to tell me when to stop? It isn't even me, it's Time. They said it themselves.

    We'll be better one day. And one day, I'll believe that.

  2. Hi, I'm from iBlog4me "Critique my blog." You have a great blog going here! A few things I noticed: (1) Your entries all have awesome photos, why don't you incorporate one or more of these photos into a header. You definitely need a header that isn't just text! A header is the first thing people see when they visit your blog, you need to make it amazing. [I know mine isn't that great either, but you just know when you see it on other blogs] (2) I like that you have the links across the top of your blog & the two sidebars. But I think you should rearrange, maybe but the google friend connect at the top so people can follow right away if they want to. Also the songs list is really long, but it is at the bottom so it's not that big of a deal. (3) Get rid of the word verification when people comment. Really, you won't get any spam & it is just annoying to actual readers. I hope my criticisms have helped!!


  3. How was the sex?

  4. Wow, I was in this exact place about a year ago. I went through the same withdrawal of the one that got away.

    were strangers now. And I once felt that I was nothing too.

    "My heart wasn't built for caring"

    I say this to myself all too often.

    If i am not mistaken, we could be such good friends.
    I feel your feelings.