Thursday, 26 September 2013

day fifty-three.

i've been a little lost. 

the loneliness is palpable in this city. i've brushed past him on subway 5, holding a briefcase but no expression. i've heard them on the street: whistling as the girls pass by. i've seen it in searching eyes, in forced smiles, in the cellphone that never gets put away. 
it's swallowing me. and it is dark and it is terrifying. and i can't quite stand to look it in the face because it is more than i am ready to feel. these are the things they should have prepared us for.

i am trying to find my way. 



  1. Sometimes realizing that we're lost is the best thing, then we can proceed with no limits or expectations, free to become a different person as often as the wind changes. There is stability in chaos if we go with it.

    You write well.

  2. I know that lonely feeling. Through this internship process I have been barely staying afloat in I have felt so isolated from my friends, my goals, and my own creativity. The feeling of being creatively isolated and lost is so scary and so all encompassing. Writing hash helped me a lot. Trying to find the green light at the end of a long tunnel can be hard, but it's always there flickering if we look hard enough. I hope you find your way soon. You are sensational.

    Tightrope to the Sun

  3. S, I was both afraid and intrigued when I saw that you blogged... I have had such a horrible week, I have been trying to hold on to hope... you always pull such emotions out of me... these were just on the surface that I was trying to push down. I am lost too... wondering if I will ever feel right again... I hope you do...

  4. i'm alone in fucking mexico. reading this made my insides twist up and shit. and the picture is fab.

    just fab.

  5. this is incredible. I came across your blog today and can't look away. This reminds me of someone, and how sometimes I see him everywhere and in everyone even though he is out of reach. My own personal haunting.